The Lord of Something

[Outchanter]

*backs nervously away from the guards* oh dear, oh dear...

[Kailkay]

*yawns, starts smacking people around. Pretty soon just him and select few (I.e. friends, king and Wormtooth, are standing*

Tsk tsk tsk.

*pulls off fake beard, cracks Wormmie really hard on the head*

Wriggle... worm! Slither you vile snake... Uhm... Venomous... tree... spider?

Bah! Why I'm going to let you live, I don't know, since it would be totally advantagous to our side. But I'll let you live, since that's the way Tokei- I mean, that's the way I am.

The king can do as he wil- *looks at the King and sighs* You're old, wrinkly and hideously pale.

*Youngifies, smoothifies, and throws soot on, the king* There.

[Outchanter]

The king rubs his eyes. "I feel as if I have been under a spell! What, Sour-one is sending orcs into my lands? I shall not stand for it! Bring me my sword - we ride at once!

*cue rousing violin solo*

(AAA c B c d--- A------
AAA c B e f#--- A------)

*several hours later...*

"Jeesh, what part of 'at once' don't you peasants understand? All this 'my home!' and 'my crops!' and 'my goat!', you people seem to think these things are so important? I mean, I'm just going to repurchase all the stuff I have to leave behind later!

"What do you mean, peasants don't have as much money as kings? You're telling me you don't live in squalid huts out of choice?"

*much, much later...*

The king turns to the group of adventurers. "Erm, well it seems we might be able to ride now." He mounts Shadow-email and leads the group onwards, ever onwards into - adventure!

[Kailkay]

And there goes my horse.

*strokes chin, then scratches head*

Well now...  I suppose we could just...

No, that won't work.

But how about...
No, nevermind, that won't work either.
In fact, that definitely won't work.

How 'bout I...

Bah, y'know what? Screw it.

*starts walking till he hops up onto Swift's shoulders*

Much better.

[Swift]

Very funny! :angry:  :angry:  :angry:

*throws Kailkay off*

You may ride with me on my Nightsaber, but never try to ride on me. The next time you do that could be your last... :angry:  

[Jafar]

You can lead a Swift to water, but that doesn't make her a horse.  

[Outchanter]

*follows the others* Er, where exaclty are we heading?

[Kailkay]

*sighs, and shakes his head* Fine, I'll walk.

Like I'm always doing.

To... er... Hat's Shallow!

[Outchanter]

*brightens* Hat's Shallow? I remember that place! Visited there with m'dad when I was young. Got a cool postcard...

*follows the others, lost in a nostalgic haze*

[Jafar]

*In the deepest, darkest, quietest part of the night, Jafar's loyal companion Jamwise hears creepy voices in the night*

:He has the precious! He's a Bagpipes and we hates the Bagpipes!
??:No! Masters good to Seagol. He likes us!
:Nobody likes you!

[Swift]

Jamwise: That must be Gobblum! I knew he was up to no good!

*Jamwise decides to try and catch Gobblum red-handed*

[Jafar]

Gobblum:You're a liar and a thief and 'yo mama is nothing but a fat cow.
Seagol:Seagol is rubber and you are glue...

[Outchanter]

*meanwhile, with the king's crowd*

Er, excuse me for a moment your majesty, but there's something terribly dangerous I've just got to pop off and do now.

*Outchanter heads down a narrow, well disguised path which leads to drumroll The City of The Head*

*dramatic chord*

[Kailkay]

Your highness! He's broken ranks and fled! Keep this news out of the ears of the commoners; Their hope is dwindling!

King: What? Get out of here. I have a war to win.

Kailkay: Grr... That's it, I'm out of here too! Look to the east at dawn on the third day. Because you won't find me there either! I'm outtah here, once and for all!

[Outchanter]

*meanwhile, in the City of the Head...*

Ghosts: "We are the ghosts who say - Wheee!"
OC: "No!"
Ghosts: "Not 'no' - wheeeeee!"

*this could take a while*