The Lord of Something

[Outchanter]

Gee, Hama... I mean LB, that's some pretty heavy weaponry there...

*looses an arrow. The thin 'twang' sound particularly silly next to the rumble of the Howitzer. The Snork's scream doesn't sound too silly though..."

<_< well, if you're using technology, I think I might use just a little magic here. *pulls out a knife, wipes it up nice and shiny then translocates to an area currently not being demolished by LB's artillery*

'Sup, Dawg? *'shing'* *'pop'* Hey Snork! *'shing' ... 'pop'* What's bright and shiny and appears suddenly behind your back? Ooh, maybe it's this knife... *after a few minutes he translocates back to the others with a 'pop'...* Erm, anybody got a spare knife? One of those Snorks was wearing armour *points to dented blade*

[Lord_Bierhoff]

sure, I've got bowy knives, Gurka knives, hunting knives, long knives, short knives, steak knives, bread knives, butter knives, throwing knives, even some catching knives, what do you want?

[Swift]

Cool! With you as our secret weapon, Sour-One won't stand a chance!

*fires some Searing Arrows*

[Kailkay]

*Kailkay... blinks.*

Sometimes ah be wishin' ah were dwarfish. Den the durned elf-lickin' head-sniffin' plant-growin' orc-mothers'd be beated up! Lots.

Anyweres. Dem... okay, enough of that. Anyways, those Seem to be thinned out quite a bit... So... onto Hat's Shallow!... Er... Are we missing someone important...?

[Outchanter]

I'll take a couple of long knives if you can spare them. Since I don't really know what the other types are, I won't experiment with them just yet.

*translocates up to Kailkay*

I thought you were busy until the sun rose on the third day or summit? Ah wells, welcome to the brawl. *waves and translocates away*

[Lord_Bierhoff]

 doesn't know what a butter knife is? really some people...

hummm I wonder how well a butter knife would work on Snorks... I think I'll give it a try.

*HamaRoasta charges at a Snork.  He ducks under its sword and stabs it with a butter knife leaving an oily smear on the snork's armour*

oh dear, not so well

*the snork stumbles back looking a little dazed and confused*

"Hey, I just got this armour washed.  What's the big idea, eh?" *shouts the snork before he runs HamaRoast through*

oh dear, this is even worse.  Look for me tomorrow and you'll find me a grave man

*HamaRoast collapses onto the ground*

[Swift]

Look for me tomorrow and you'll find me a grave man

Romeo and Juliet! Hee!


What, art thou hurt?

*quickly shoves healing potion into LB's hand*

Courage, LB; the hurt cannot be much!

[Lord_Bierhoff]

no, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve; ask for me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man.  I am pepper'd, I warrant, for this world:- a plague o' both your houses! - zounds, a dog, a rat, a mouse, a cat, to scratch a man to death! a braggart, a rogue, a villain, that fights by the book of arithmetic! - Why, the devil, came you between us? I was hurt under your arm.

[Swift]

*the snork  runs HamaRoast through*

Where? I don't see the part where I magically appeared between you two. Besides, I was in the other corner over there!

And if you would use your energy to drink the healing potion that I so generously gave you instead of talking about death, you'll live! Now drink!

[Lord_Bierhoff]

to drink or not to drink: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and, by a sleep to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished.

[Swift]

All right, Shakespeare! I'll decide your fate!

*takes out healing scroll and reads it*

*LB's health is restored*


I know I could have done that from the very beginning, but this way more drama lah.

[Lord_Bierhoff]

Why, right; you are i'th'right;
And so, without more circumstance at all,
I hold it fit that we shake hands and part:
You, as your business and desire shall point you,-
For every man hath business and desire,
Such as it is;-and fore mine own part,
Look I'll go pray.

[Outchanter]

Pray? NO YOU DON'T! We're in the middle of a battle here.

For you, lad, the order of business is:

1 - drink potion
2 - carry on fighting

NO praying, NO poetry and NO dessert until you've drunk your potion. :angry:

[Lord_Bierhoff]

No, that's certain; I am not a double man: but if
I be not Jack Falstaff, then I am a Jack.  There is
Percy *throughs the body down*: If your father will
do me any honour, so; if not, let him kill the next
Percy himself.  I look to be either earl or duke, I
can assure you.

[Swift]

Translation please?