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Once upon a time, there was a rather boring kingdom. It used to be known as the best place to go to for excitement, but somehow, things got boring, and all the tourists stopped coming. Some of the kingdom's residents actually died of boredom. King Blah the 3rd knew that this boredom was unnatural. Soon, he discovered that the bored influences were coming from the land of Boredor. He sent his army to Boredor to find out the cause and stop it, but they got bored with the quest and went to go do something better. The boredom problem got worse, and threatens to affect other lands now.

Realizing that a small group of adventurers can do what gigantic armies can't, King Blah called for adventurers from more exciting lands to come and save his kingdom.

*Puts the script down*

And thats why we're here. So, who's coming with me on this quest?

The Great Vorpal Bunny, Bargheim, will dare the depths of Boredor!

God, I'm so bored that I'll actually do this.

So speaketh Silvester the Holy level 40 Paladin of Glug'Tha!!!

"I'd like to come," said Swift "but I'm afraid it sounds too boring. Besides, I have work to do!"

"Yeah right," some people muttered. "What could possibly be more boring than work?"

Silvester raised his eyes once more and asked:

"Hey, if this gets too boring, can we go grab a pizza or something?"

"Sure, why not? Nothings less boring then pizza!"
With that said, Jafar started preparing for the journey.
"Okay," he said, ignoring the fantasy era. "We'll need a CD player, a DVD player, some handheld game systems, and a laptop computer. We'll need all the excitement we can get if we're going to make it to Boredor."

"REE!" Bargheim leapt about ten feet off the ground and bit an innocent bystander's head off. Because, I mean, he's a Vorpal Bunny.

Silvester drove up in his Hummer.

"Ok, people, hop in! I have music and an on-board computer! This ride's been pimped. Let's go level up!"

Bargheim rubbed the blood off his teeth and donned spectacles.

"Logically, Silvester, if the ride had been 'Pimped' as you say, it would be in a brothel right now, working as a prostitute."

"Obviously, my rabbit friend, you are not familiar with "hood slang". This is how we gangstaz roll." Silvester said. Noticing Bargheim's unimpressed look he added. "I take it you don't watch MTV? GOOD! Don't! It's evil!"

Jafar's eyes started wandering, and he almost yawned. "You know guys...I'm getting...well...bored with this conversation...Wait a minute!? Bored? We need to hurry!"

Bargheim picked up his wizards staff and his sword and donned a Santa beard.

"To the east. To Boredor!"

Silvester stepped on the gas pedal, looked into the horizon heroicly, then threw Bargheim a solemn look and said:

"*coughMorrowindrefferencecough*"

And into the east they rode.

That reminds me, we need to have a theme song for dramatic moments like this. The LoTR theme sounds appropriate for this one scene, but will it work for others?

My battle scenes must be accompanied by Dragon Force songs. Also, I suggest that the bad guy will have The Imperial March as a sound theme.

We could also use Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War soundtracks.

Hey, as long as I get my Heavy Metal battle scenes...

If you want to defeat boredom, you should go to the land of :)s instead. ;)

*points to the map, and shows them they're only 10 feet away from it*

Fool! The land of smileys, has, indeed been at war with Boredor with quite some time. But where boredom dies, annoyance and addictiveness take its place! Never shall I allow myself to be tainted with the scourge of smileys.

Except for this one.  :paladin:  See? It's a paladin. Who's a paladin? You're a paladin, yes you are.

The evil army is about to march upon the smileys!

 :o   :blackguard:
 :o   :blackguard:
 :o   :blackguard:            
 :o   :blackguard:
 :o   :blackguard:  
 :o   :blackguard:

Tough question. Do we let them die or help them?

"I say we do not interfere. Let nature run it's course."

Silvester noticed the rabbit looking at him with a surprised look.

"What? I may be a Paladin, but come on! Defending Smileys? Where do they go where they die? Here?  :devil:  :devil:  :devil:  :devil:

Bah! Let's just go to Boredor."

"I agree. But I say we kill 'em all."

"Fine...let's...oh. Well. Too late, I guess. Those Blackguard smileys work fast. And they're heading this way...DRAW STEEL!"

 :paladin:  

After working with his art set for a minute, Jafar holds up a masterpiece painting of, well, steel.
"I work better with watercolors, but this isn't bad, if I do say so myself." :D  

Silvester looked at Jafar's drawing.

"Hey, that's pretty good...LOOK OUT!"

Silvester threw his sword at Jafar.

"There was a  :D smiley behind you. It almost had you. Wait...I'll get my sword back."

 :paladin:

"There we go."

Working like some kind of..well..Vorpal Bunny, Bargheim leapt from target to target, a series of decapitated corpses in his wake.

"Let's hope they don't get smart and start using Holy Hand Grenades!"

"Heh, it's the Concrete Donkey the weapon *I* fear."

"Thats nothing compared to falling cows if you ask me, but to each his own..."

"Actually, they were called Mad Cows, you n00b! Geez! Some n00bz! I mean, n00bz these days! Damn!"

"Roflmao, I pwnz joo, nub."

Silvester started to laugh and imediately stopped.

"Oh, my god! It's worse than I thought! Boredom is making us l33tsp34k! Oh, the humanity!"

Bargheim squealed out in a bizzare, New York accent "We've got to get outta here!"

"You talkin' to me? Are *you* talkin' to *me*?"

I guess you guys got bored of the quest, huh?

Mission Failed!

FISSION MAILED.

MISSION FAILED inside a FISSION MAILED!? :blink:  

I wouldn't want to get fission mailed to me >.>

Yeah, you always gotta deal with that 'shroom cloud.

Many a week have I awaited your returns. Now we can continue our mission.

or we might get stuck in a sewer pipe. just for the heck of it.

I hate you.

really? I'm flattered

GAH! Could we just PLEASE move on? The boredom is gaining ground!

"From the look of things, boredom has gained ground and overrun you guys into submission.  Too bad, you may have just had a chance to defeat it." said a stranger who had appeared out of practically nowhere.

Silvester eyed this stranger suspiciously. He had not seen him before. He had to engage conversation carefully as not to offend him.

"Ahem...dude, could you, like NOT screw up the RP? THANK YOU!"

Well, great going, stupid. That settles the matter of being polite. Though the stranger was right. The quest was everything but dead. Silvester stood tall all heroic like and said:

"Yeah, I mean, COME ON! Get back here, you guys! What the hell?"

I hate you. You know that, right?

"Shut up. You're the narrator. You can't interact with me."

Fine. Have it your way. And then Silvester noticed an army of Boredor troops marching towards him and his companions.

"WHAT?"

Boredor troops whip out their blasters and so the shooting begins.

And so, a nefarious editor deletes the 'l' in the weapons of Boredor.  The forces of Boredor pray that their enemies are dead turkeys.

Bargheim took cover in his rabbit hole, ever since he got hit with that blasted Holy Hand Grenade he had been paranoid. He knew he should have stolen it when he had the chance. Boredor troops moved closer...

"REE!"

He leapt out of his hole, touching the first one's head, then leapt to his second target, and repeat. Behind him, heads were rolling. Literally.

Then suddenly, the deadly basters opened fire, spraying marinades and rubs all over Bargheim! Tasty juices covered the battlefield!

"That narrator is so dead..." Silvester said. Hey! I heard that! Glancing over at the battle he saw that Boredor's armies WERE in fact dead turkeys wielding basters! He leapt into the fray with his Paladin flaming sword and started to hack.

"Anyone want a leg or a wing?"

After a while, as his companions fought bravely, the evil forces had been destroyed.

"Well done!" one of them said.

"Actually, more like medium-rare." the paladin replied. Jeez! Who writes this guy's lines?

"Yeeesh", said the stranger, wiping gravy and marinade from his face and body. "Perhaps I was wrong about you guys after all. Actually if you could use that flaming sword of yours to cook up some of the turkey a bit more, that would be great!" He gathers a few of the dead birds into a pile and notices Bargheim. "Even better, a rabbit!!! Good thing I brought my stew pot, it's already been premarinated for us. I'm going to head over to the river and fill up the pot." The stranger walks away towards the nearest river....

"I summon the Megavorpal Bunny!"

Far off in the distance, six giant, metal animals became the Megavorpal Bunny...and far away on the moon, a woman threw a stick, and cried,

"MAKE MY MONSTER GROOOOW!"

One of the dead turkeys began to swell, becoming massive! But still dead.

Oh, good lord, a Power Rangers reference.
We might as well give up if something like that has come up, for even if we win, we've lost our dignity lol.

*sits back and watches Futurama*

Within about a little over half an hour's time, the stranger reappeared, holding his stew pot mostly filled with water. "Mmmmm-mm, I can't wait to have some rabbit stew.  That rabbit certainly looked healthy and ripe for the cooking." said the stranger.  Upon his return, he gathered some stones & sticks and soon had a nice little firepit.  "Now to find out where that rabbit is. Couldn't have gone to far aw...." the stranger stopped suddenly short, listening.  In the distance he could hear the slightest thumping. With each thump, the sound seemed to be getting closer as well as louder. All he could do was watch in the direction from which the noise was emanating from.

And from the OPPOSITE direction of the Megavorpal Bunny (although the stranger doesn't know about the Bunny yet) comes a TALL WHITE PUFFY-looking thingie with a big big smile and the words "Stay-Puft".

Before he knew it, the stranger heard yet another sound issuing forth from the direction behind which he stood. Looking up at the sky, he observed that the sky was practically devoid of clouds. Both sounds erupting to the point of great booming, like thunder itself. What was approaching he wondered. For surely, if not a storm of some sorts supplying this thunderous noise, it must be a massive army converging from each direction towards each in which a battle of epic proportions would ensue. After thinking that must be what is causing such a commotion, he ran to the others to warn them of the encroaching danger...

frederick woke with a snap as the electronic alarm blared in his ear. he glanced at the view screen and jerked back in horror.  "Dang it, it's those blasted robots again. computer, open the flight gate. I'll get those buggers this time."

Frederick marched toward the widening opening in his wall and launched his scaled bulk into the sky.

You know, I didn't even realize you had posted that, for I was in the middle of typing my post during that time. Perhaps something could happen to this MegaVorpal Bunny where we or actually you guys (I just wanted rabbit stew) might fight it or something else does (the StayPuft Masrhmallow Man) and not lose your dignity? Back to story.....

Upon running towards the group of warriors (assuming they are something of warriors), the stranger tripped on a rock and upon stumbling, came face to face with Bargheim. "Ooooh the rabbit!!!", he said and immediately forgot about the sudden danger as his hunger set in again.

Silvester eyed The Guy angrily.

"What are you doing, you fool? Stop speaking of posts and threads or you shall create a paradox that will cause this world to stop existing alltogether!

...

Sort of like in Dogma."

somehow, somewhere deep in their minds, the various characters feel a weird tingling sense...

as if...

someone had said something...

was it "metagaming eh hem" ?
 

Silvester, who is this, The Guy, you talk to? Do you like talking to yourself? For I see noone here, but us. I have not in any way disclosed my identity to you and your group of.....    um.....   err.....   whatever it is you all are. I am merely a lost, hungry stranger (my name is not important at the moment) looking for some food and that rabbit looks damn delicious!! I think I'll make a pouch or something out of it's hide. Also, I believe the Paradox is located about 5 hills south & 2 hills east of here. Good food and good service, but some things are a tad pricey (just don't order the scorpion juice, it stings & and badly at that). It's located right next to The Void and across from there is The Abyss.


A vague voice within the stranger's mind says "metagaming eh hem"


Hmm??? Did one of you just say something else? I didn't hear that quite clearly.

Pwned you thilly little ducklings

Edited the word you used to something a tad more softcore. ~Silv

And then Silverbolt said "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" ~Darth Vader

And everyone went home. And did something useful.

except for those who didn't. like frederick who remained behind in order to finally tear the head off the power ranger's robot.